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Blog Post Everyday In April; How it all began.. 

My first day of kindergarten at the wise old age of 4 years old. My
mother made me wear a dress. My father saw me dressed up that
way and for some hideously sick reason it turned the monster in him
on.Next time he got me alone he tried to cut me down below to force my body to accept him. Needless to say was a bloody mess! Thankfully the veterinarian want-to-be was able to stanch the bleeding with drugs we use on our cows. It left no visible scars. But the nightmares remain until this day! So since raping me was not possible, he resorted to sodomizing me on a regular basis.

Between my fourth and fifth grade year my menstrual periods began. The monster figured out that if my body had grown enough to start having monthly periods, it must be finally big enough to rape. So you can figure out what started happening every time he caught me alone.

Went for the doctor’s appointment to get the required immunizations to start 5th grade and the doctor discovered I had scoliosis. Since we were poor farmers, we could not afford to get the necessary back brace to correct my curvy spine. A chiropractor I saw in my later years told me I possible could have been a couple of inches taller than I am now had I been braced back then.

Started having coughing fits, so my mom took me to see the doctor. He diagnosed me with asthma, and prescribed a Primatine Mist Inhaler to help me breath better. My grandfather on my mom’s side of the family used that same medicine! He suffers from emphysema and was a heck of a lot older than I was. He questioned if my mom was sure I should be taking this strong of a drug! Kept getting the feeling like I had an extreme sun burn around my stomach and back even though hadn’t been out in the sun since it was late fall. My mom didn’t see any evidence of a problem. (Now I know this was just an early Multiple Sclerosis attack.)

Made extra money by baling hay on the farm. Had my first heat stroke from stacking fresh bales up under a tin roof in 114 degree temperatures. Considering there was absolutely no breezes that day am afraid to even make a guess at what the actual heat index was that day. Since the hay cut into our skin, we wore jeans and a long sleeved shirts to protect ourselves from injury. Was dripping wet with sweat when they physically had to pull me out of the hay shed since I was not able to stand any longer on my two feet!

Started having problems getting my legs to work the way they were supposed to. Got good at controlled falling. The doctor could find nothing wrong with me, said it was all in my head. Had to start milking cows after my grandfather on my father’s side fell off the top of one of the hay barns. He destroyed one of his legs during the fall. So had to go learn how to milk cows with the help of the monster I was afraid of teaching me. Our cows were all tame, so all you had to do to get them to come in for milking was stand at the top of one of the fences and yell for them to come home in German (my great grandpa migrated to the USA alone at the age of 12). Great-grandpa learned to speak English on the ship ride over here from Germany.

Our hired hand was a young man from the town where I went to school. Enjoyed doing milking with him a lot more than my father. When the hired hand and I milked cows we listened to a different music station than we did when I milked with other adults from the family. We kept track of the cow’s production when we milked together as opposed to the milking with other adults. For some reason the cows produced more milk when classic rock was playing as opposed to the tired old country music stations.

Left for college as soon as possible to escape my father. Was 17 when I left the state of Illinois to attend Southwest Missouri State University on a scholarship. No more farm chores or being raped for me!

Near the end of my sophomore year began applying for internships. Sent out at least a half-dozen applications. 3-M was not hiring in Missouri. Cisco’s requirements were way above my current skill sets. So, made one last attempt with a company I was too familiar with.

Got an internship position at the dairy company my family sold milk through. Made what turned out to be a life long friend because of working there. The actual reason I was hired on was the fact that one of the employees, Rita was pregnant and she needed to train a replacement for her maternity leave. I had the advantage of knowing from my experience on the farm what all the reports actually measured and how to work with local dairy inspectors. Designed and produced training for their benefit to help them keep up with our new systems.

Rita and her husband became close friends while we remained living in the area. Went out together to the company Christmas party and drove around town together looking at things like holiday decorations that were put up for viewing.

I started seeing the boy that would become my husband my Junior year. They approved of our relationship and gave us their blessings. Jason and I started living together in a crappy apartment I had moved into alone. Was afraid of sleeping there by myself, since there was always fights and drug deals happening next door. Took him home to meet my mom and grandfather on her side of the family after Easter had passed that year.

Was now working full time for that dairy company while still attending college full time (talk about a busy life)! Used company property for speeches I gave in my operating systems class. Back then technology is nowhere near what we have today. Was able to flip the laptop up on a screen to project diagrams for my speech. Back then cell phones were still scarce! My boss had what we know refer to as a brick cell phone. Took some getting used to. Where I grew up, we were luck to have a working phone line to the our house!

Took my first business trip with my boss to Kansas City, MO to work on one of our offices up there’s network connections. (Thought I was in the BIG time now!) Jason had a case of the flu he wanted my stuffed animal while I was gone, since I knew I needed it to sleep in a strange place gave him a new stuffed animal to keep him company. (Remember how young I was?) Could not even legally rent myself a hotel room in Missouri. My boss had to rent me a room for the night! (Talk about embarrassing for us both!)

Ended up having a successful trip to the site with my boss looking over my shoulder. Jason was better by the time I returned. After this trip he sent Rita and I together to all the rest of our out of office needs. Rita and I just decided to share a room together to both cut costs and for security reasons.

Jason and I traveled back to IL to meet up with my family for my baby brother’s high school graduation. Jason was in charge of barbecuing the meat over the grill since he
had studied culinary skills while in high school. The resulting meat was so tender even my sick grandpa on my mom’s side of the family was able to not only eat his first serving but ask for a second piece (this from a man who was skin and bones due to all the cancers he had suffered from on top of his emphysema)! We went over to my grandparents (mother’s side) for Sunday lunch before returning to MO. I was talking to grandma in the front room, while Jason went back in to the kitchen to have a private discussion with grandpa. Jason asked if he could marry me! He came back into the front room full of smiles. Grandpa had given him his blessings, provided that we did not marry until after I graduated from college.

Started visiting a local chiropractor due to my neck and back being out of whack. He had been recommended to my by my friend Rita. He worked on my back several times a week.

Had to endure one more college semester in the fall of 1996. The day after I graduated, we got married! Have been together, ever since.

A year after our wedding date, started having trouble keeping myself from vomiting (No I WAS NOT PREGNANT!). Had not had any alcoholic beverages that day. After hours of worshiping the porcelain gods, there was nothing left but dry heaves. Jason rushed me to the hospital. Lost count of the number of red lights he ran to get me there (was during the middle of the night) so no traffic to deal with).

In the emergency room, they took blood to make sure I was not pregnant even though I told them we always used condoms. They put some of what turned out to be no more than Dramamine into my veins. The vomit comet stopped visiting me. They sent me home with directions to see my normal doctor and a prescription of an expensive version of Dramamine. My doctor just gave me another dramamine prescription. After a few months the chiropractor suspected I had a severe problem that needed to be looked at closer. He sent me for my first M.R.I. He had told me it was nothing other than a noisy X-ray. Went by myself to have the test ran. After being in that noisy machine for what seemed like forever, a nurse pulled the table I was laying on out of the machine and tried to stick what looked like a torture device in my arm (am terrified of needles). My head was strapped down on the table, but I tried jumping off to get away! (Not a way I would recommend for tying to pop you neck).

The nurse told me the exam was over since I had moved out of position for the scan. She helped me get safely off the table and took me back in the other room to get redressed.

Went back to the chiropractor to get the results from my M.R.I.. There was no one at the normally full office. The receptionist told me to wait until I was called in by the nurse. Waited for a few minutes until a nurse called me back to go into the chiropractor’s exam room like normal. Began to take my
shoes off when the nurse told me getting changed into an exam gown was not necessary. So I just hopped up on the exam table to wait.

When the chiropractor finally came in, he was not able to explain what was wrong with me. The test had revealed that I had either spinal cancer or multiple sclerosis. Spinal cancer could be fatal (wish it had been what I really had because I would probably be dead by now) but he thought from my history was more likely to be multiple sclerosis. He told me to have the receptionist schedule me an appointment with a neurologist to uncover what I really had. He did not charge me a single cent for the day. The receptionist was in tears when I came out to get my appointment with the neurologist scheduled.

Went back home to tell my husband what I had learned. We waited several weeks before my first neurologist’s appointment. Had Jason go with me to the appointment. Had to schedule another M.R.I. with contrast injected into my veins (first without and then with the contrast). This time I would also try taking a sedative to keep me calmer. In reality, the only way I can successfully endure a M.R.I. is to have general anesthesia knock me out completely. Took me years to learn this fact. Was completely coherent and conscious after they only got the scan without contrast done, but they could give me no more sedatives to get through the scan with contrast. They even brought a male nurse in (he was blonde- not my type, prefer dark haired men) to try to convince me to complete the scans. So while screaming, made it through the contrast scan.

Went back to the neurologist to get the results from the test. I have relapsing – remitting multiple sclerosis. I started crying when he gave e the diagnoses. He told me it wasn’t a big deal, you don’t die from M.S. or anything like that. I was crying because it was the first time a doctor hadn’t accused me of being nuts!

After my diagnoses, the rest of my family on my mother’s side finally had something to give their doctors a clue to their own problems. My mom, her sister (my aunt), her two daughters (my cousins) all now have an accurate idea of their illnesses.

One of my cousins is basically blind now due to the disease. My mom is still able to work now that she knows how to get past the dizzy feeling by using generic dramamine. I am now permanently wheelchair bound. All due to evil diseases. Going back home is still not an option, since my father still lives with my mom. Prefer living up north where it is cooler temperature wise anyway!

*Guest written by Jeanette Hall.*

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